Wednesday, January 13, 2010

take flight

i recently took a trip to new hampshire...or what the locals call "the seacoast".

my flight left a few days after christmas. i packed one large suitcase because i really hate carry-ons since it means there's shit i have to carry. i usually pack one suitcase and just my purse.

i arrived early and while printing my boarding pass the attendant informed me that my bag was six pounds overweight. i could either take out six pounds or pay 50$. so i pulled my bag aside and opened 'er up.

i was in the middle of the airport struggling with my suitcase zipper in which a brand new pair of blue lace panties had become lodged. i was trying to be delicate but my pretty striped scarf had slipped and was now stuck in the zipper as well. flustered and pissed i finally ripped 'em out, cursing the airlines stupid bag/weight requirment and scaring an elderly asian couple.

once open i had some options. six pounds...well, a few things were for certain...the 2ft long 3lbs molinari salami was just gonna have to stay in the bag...and the 2lbs of brussels sprouts i was smuggling, well they would have to stay too.

the 2lbs of hiking boots...on my feet they went. favorite black cardigan went on over my t-shirt. then the knit duster over the cardigan. then giant puffy blue down jacket over duster. pink and yellow snow gloves i borrowed from my sister went onto my hands. mustard crochet hat upon my head and my purse stuffed to the brim with socks, books, tampons and fudge...i zipped the bag back up.

it was still a 1lb over, but i looked so fucking ridiculous she let it slide.

and...

im pretty sure the couple behind me in security hated my guts.